Kids gotta learn early that it's political bribes and payoffs that run this country! St. Paul is now requiring all youngsters that wish to operate any sort of refreshment stand to buy a $60 vendor license. "You gotta grease those palms with the cold hard cash before you'll be selling pop around here kiddo! Stop crying and wipe your nose! This is Amahreeka! You gotta pay to play!" In other news, city parks will begin introducing swing tolls next month...

From the immense intellect of these modern times, California governor candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger comments on the controversial issue of gay marriage: "I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman." From defective yeti

What are you? Are you a liberal pinko commie or a conservative religious zealot? Take the World's Smallest Political Quiz and find out.

A good laugh for Monday; especially if you are looking for a job. The Morning News - The Non-Expert: Defenestrate Your Résumé! "Most companies automatically forward résumés of two-pages or longer to Popeye’s Chicken, so be sure to confine things confided to a single sheet. If you are having trouble getting everything to fit, try narrowing your margins, reducing your font to 7, or getting rid of the ‘deadweight’ by eliminating your education or omitting the nouns."

Drink to your health! Scientists report that a chemical in red wine may contribute to longer life. The chemical mimics an affect caused on the body due to calorie restriction. "The chemicals are designed to mimic the effect of a low-calorie diet, which is known to lengthen the life span of rodents. Scientists involved in the research say human life span could be extended by 30 percent if people respond to the chemicals the way rats and mice do to low calories." They think that this is a biological response to lean times that allowed animals to live long enough to reproduce.

Another story that puts Alabama in a positive light...Chief justice vows to fight monument removal order. I have to side with the other justices who understand their role as Alabama Supreme Court judges. "...the justices said Moore is legally bound to follow a lawful court order even if he disagrees with it." Judge Moore is unable to hold the HIGHEST position in this state's court without letting his own emotions cloud his view of the law. He also does not care about the welfare of his own statesmen by forcing them to carry the burden of daily fines due to his defiance of the very laws he swore to uphold. I think it's time to hold our own recall. This is what happens when we elect officials that should be appointed.

Sometimes you forget the important things and then you get reminded...The Onion | I Have An iPod--In My Mind is a great read. via BoingBoing

Here's a great article about the Google calculator function that will complete most simple equations as well as give answers to some tougher questions. It will also do conversions. Very nice when you're like me and can never remember how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon.

An addendum to the diamond article in Wired, this was found in the William Gibson forums...LifeGem is selling diamonds made of the carbon of your dead loved ones. "That's a beautiful ring! Was it your grandmother's?" You reply, "Why no it IS my grandmother."

When I went to Chichan Itza and the Parthenon I wondered how they became abandoned ruins. DetroitYES - The Fabulous Ruins of Detroit Forum gives us a living diary of that decay in progress. Detroit should be made into an Industrial Landmark; an American ruin. Too bad the city planners think that only through imploding and destroying their past they can create a brighter future. Everyday another beautiful but abandoned building falls to the wreaking ball. Take a look at Detroit before it no longer exists. It is a great lesson for us all.

The cover story of this month's Wired is a well written tale of diamonds, greed, and the future of computing. Wired 11.09: The New Diamond Age reads like a tale of espionage. "During a break in the conference, a man approached Linares and told him to be careful. 'He said that my father's research was a good way to get a bullet in the head,' Linares recalls."

Protect your children by banning all use of Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)in schools!!! DHMO kills thousands of people each year! It has been discovered that all crimes are committed by people that have been exposed to or ingested DHMO! They are even using it in nuclear power plants!!! Protect you and your family's future by exposing the truth about DHMO today!

The future is now and the future means fancy toilets! Wired News: Luxury Loo: The Seat Also Rises is an article that describes such a toilet. After it cleans you, it cleans itself and then gets rid of any unwanted smells. It's fun for the whole family!

Here's an example of the new California recall election ballot. It makes a lot of sense and would cut down on voting costs.

There are several good blogs being written right now by folks living, soldiering and working in Iraq. The first is probably the most famous and is Salam Pax's blog Where is Raed? Another is written by Salam's good friend Gee called Gee in Baghdad. Finally, Moja Vera, a young soldier, has a blog has caught the interest of many. His blog ...turningtables... is a great blog of the daily life of a soldier in Iraq. Oh and don't forget to check the the associated photoblogs of Salam, Gee, and Moja.

Also, check out this photo linked off of Salam's blog. It's a picture from the burial of the Hussein brothers. Beauty is found in such strange places.

All this via a link from William Gibson's blog.

A lot of folks are looking for all the clone videos of the Star Wars kid. Jedimaster.net has almost all of them and downloads are quick. If you have never seen the original, watch it first.

This is some really good insight for those of you looking to buy a new car. kuro5hin.org || Selling cars in the U.S. - the inside scoop

It has been strongly recommended for your mental health to avoid Gigli. My favorite quote is this one: "I had a brief thought that the mundane inanity might be some Samuel Beckett-style commentary on the existential void. Then I realized that watching the movie put me closer to the existential void than they ever were."
-- Nell Minow, MOVIE MOM

You think your fashion is bleeding edge? Not so gaijiin! Kevin Kelly -- Recomendo has a link to a new photo book called Fruits. This book is a collection of extreme Tokyo streetwear that makes your threads look like yo mama dressed you.

Worried about getting a subpoena from the RIAA? The EFF: RIAA Subpoena Database allows you to search through all of the filings for your IP address or username. I, fortunately, was not listed. Woohoo! (From Wasted Bits via boingboing)